well, it's the weirdest dream i ever had but not so much on the fact that she and ashley's best friend were ther but more on what i felt when i was experiencing it or rather, when i woke up.

i can't recall everything that happened except for the feeling that came over me. especially when she and i were face to face..

i almost forgot how close we used to be. we were like sisters - almost living in the same (each other's) house, basically shuffling from one place to another together. one canot go to one place without the other or at least informing her if one cannot go. i almost forgot the times when w had the devil-may-care atitude with regards to how we do everything together. it was high school and there were unwritten rules that most students follow. we didn't.

to hell with the fact that she's a junior and i was a senior and basically our schedules don't match. to hell with the fact that her classroom is located at the other building, so far from mine, i still leave my training bag at hers (it's nearer to the football field!). to hell with the fact that both of us ride different school buses on the way to school and back home, we'd rather face the inconvenience (we didn't notice, or at least tried not to) of taking the jeep (UP-Pantranco route) and hanging out and pigging out when we want to. to hell that i have to go home early or that i have to go to Shang for my dance lessons, she would still drag me to Philsports to watch her while she trains just as long as we could go home together. to hell that i didn't attend my senior grad ball (per se) just as long as i went to her junior prom (heck, i even dressed her up for that). to hell that we already have games on Saturdays, we still have to go to mass on Sundays so that we could spend time together, as if we wouldn't be seeing each other the next Monday.

yeah. that was my life then. THE life. i don't have complaints. and if i were to do it again, i'd do it in a heartbeat.

so, to hell with the fact that her bestfriend became jealous. that i wasn't spending that much time with my friends. to hell with the fact that we both were cutting classes and staying at the field just for the heck of it, trying to analyze why she and her bestfriend seem like total strangers at that time or what would be my plan when i go to college. that we were mistaken for lesbos by her mom (eeww!). to hell with the fact that we were creating a huge stir because to some, we were breaking the unwritten rule.

i can't exactly remember how or when it happened. all i could remember was the vague distance that were slowly separating the two of us. nevermind the fact that we were on the same team. that we live near each other. nevermind the fact that we see each other during footbal tournaments long even after i graduated form high school. taht we see each other at Mass every Sunday and that her younger sister would always approach em and ask how come i don't visit their house anymore. nevermind that we don't know how to bridge the distance anymore or IF we stll want to fix it. nevermind that.

so to see her in my dream, looking so normal. and looking so like the way she used to be when we were still like sisters-almost living in the same (each other's) house... it, i don't know, pained me, saddened me, made me think wistfully, made me wish i could turn back time, made me happy...i don't know. it's a mixture of everything. of the laughter and tears, of the joys and sorrows, of the losses and triumphs (go MC!), of the moon and the stars, of the blue and the pink. of what was then and what is now...